argieArt 2004


a Primer consisting of
rough drafts of
sketchy notes to
the full-time
occasional artist

Name:

another wave on another ocean in another universe at another time

Sunday, October 10, 2004

degrees of wetness

Q:
If you are a large sponge sloshing from point A to point B in the rain, do you become more or less wet depending on how fast you walk?

A:
Returning from the Pacific Northwest, where we have engaged in an humble experiment to judge the veracity of at least two of the obviously infinite number of possible answers to this question, our small team was recently able to ascertain -- using a single unemployed Maxwellian Daemon (nicknamed "Worbert Niener" and fortuitously available due to the USA's enthusiastic and patriotic Dark Ages Retro Movement Act) to move the holes about within one of the team member's pet Peruvian Ambulatory Sponge (Spongatus Perambulatus), which happens to be precisely of the size 1m x 0.5m x 0.5m -- that it makes no difference whatsoever at what velocity the sponge moves about or even whether it ever arrives, except in the degenerate case wherein v approaches c, at which point said mobile holes are insufficiently round to avoid overlap with the enumerable transiting droplets. At this juncture, however, with mass approaching infinity, the number of contacted droplets per sponge become an infinitesimal fraction and, per Cantor, it is easily demonstrated that there is no wetting whatsoever.
Therefore, in both the wetted and unwetted situation, no wetting occurs.
(disclaimer: For the sake of simplicity, reciprocity effects have been ignored, and droplet size has been assumed larger than 1.616 × 10^^-35 m. or so. Also ignored is the trivial situation involving an Aleph-One number of raindrops being absorbed by an Aleph-null sponge.)